Colossal Dreams, Bigger Fears.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: California King Bed by Rihanna. I just realized that I am always scared. I'm scared of rejection, of not being good enough, of being too good people will become jealous, of no one becoming jealous meaning I'm not good at all, of being not good at all, at being nothing at all. This has to stop. But how the hell do I stop it? I can't help but hope--with utter desperation--that this fear parallels that of driving, or school of Medicine, or even baking a cake, where being an outsider and peering through the window with your lack of experience and knowledge, the room looks shabbier, darker, much more desolate than it truly is, only because it's gotten a whiff of the rumor that you're about to tackle it down. But like driving and school of Med and baking a cake, it isn't as terrible as you'd anticipated one you've charged headfirst and receieved the conventional dose of failure that only stiffens your spine yet makes you more flexible for the upcoming journey. I cannot describe to you how much the fear of success has influenced my life. I once read that if your dreams don't terrify you than thery're not big enough. If that saying is correct, my dreams are colossal. EE. xx